And 37...

Another week down and 3 more to go!  Our little boy once again had a strong heartbeat around 140 bpm. Although I don't believe the midwives that I've seen, they say he's not too big.  Here's to hoping!  I've loved watching him and feeling him move the past week.  It doesn't take much, but when he moves my whole stomach becomes a different shape.  It's weird but I love it!  I'm really going to miss that feeling, but I can't wait to hold him either!  His bag is packed for the hospital and mine is 1/2 way packed.  All the baby things we can use early on are down from the attic and washed.  We still haven't hung anything on his walls so hopefully that will get done this week.  For the most part I think we're ready, but I keep remembering all the little things we need.  I'm trying to make one big list so we can make our last trip to the store, but I'm sure I'll still forget something.  Thankfully Grandma is willing to go get those little things for me!

36 weeks!

At 36 weeks baby boy's heartbeat was strong! Only 4 weeks left! It's crazy how different I feel from Raleigh's pregnancy. I love being pregnant, but my body is definitely older and not as prepared as I was with hers. It's still a blessing to feel every movement...I love it and him!

34 Weeks!

This pregnancy is flying by!  Only 6 more weeks to go and I'm sure they'll go quickly with Christmas coming up.  My checkup went great and our baby boy's heart rate was in the 130's.  It sounded great!  Two more weeks and we'll be back for another check!  So thankful to have made it this far after all the bumps in the road near the beginning!

 Happens every morning and all throughout the day!  So sweet!

We're getting there...

with the baby's room!  We have the furniture, bedding, and a few accessories.  I can't believe he'll be here so soon!

View from the door...the crates in front of the window will be stained and have two more added to them to become a bookshelf.

 The wagon was from my grandfathers house.  We just need to get some wood put down up there so it will sit right.  :)

32 weeks already!

I really can't believe I'm already 32 weeks along and only have 8 more to go!  This pregnancy despite all the issues is flying by!  I went for my appointment today and it was a normal one.  :)  I'm measuring right at 32 weeks and our little boy's heartbeat was around 150 bpm.  It definitely sounded strong!  This visit was fun because Raleigh went with me and I saw the midwife who delivered her.  This was the first time she's seen Raleigh since she was 6 weeks old.  Raleigh has definitely grown up and Christine agreed that it didn't seem like it's been 4 years.  Now I just need to have her deliver this little boy...hopefully he'll come when she's on call!

Recheck at 29 weeks!

We went again for another ultrasound to recheck my cervical length.  First, baby boy had a healthy heartbeat at 149 bpm.  Then we finally got a good report all the way around!  My cervical length was at 2.9 cm last week and went to 2.4 cm with pressure.  This week it was 3.6 cm and didn't change with pressure!  Another answered prayer!  I'm so thankful that God listens and answers even the small prayers!

Step One in Baby's Room

We finally had a full Saturday where we didn't have plans and Jason didn't need to go into work so he was able to paint the baby's room.  We painted it a celery green and it looks great now that it is fully painted.  Finally we have step one done in getting the room ready!

28 weeks

I went for my 28 week check up which included an ultrasound to check my placenta and the baby.  Good news...the placenta is where it needs to be for a normal delivery and baby boy is no longer breech!  He had a good heartbeat at 139 bpm.  Then the bad news...my cervical length had shortened which could cause preterm labor.  They'll check it again in a week.  This baby boy is already giving me fits...we can't seem to just get a normal report!  :)

24 weeks

Another check up and all is well with our baby boy!  At this appointment his heart rate was around 140 bpm.  I did have the glucose test done at this appointment and after drinking the drink, baby boy was very active!  I'm so thankful for a healthy check up!

20 weeks and we're having a...

 We went for our 20 week ultrasound.  We have a very healthy baby boy!!  Everything was measuring as it should, he weighs 13 oz., his heart rate was 145 bpm, and has a bit of stubbornness like the rest of the family (he didn't want us to find out what we were having).  We could even see him opening his mouth.  I told Raleigh that he was having to talk now since she won't give him a chance once he's born!   As of now he's breech so I'm praying that he'll take up some gymnastics and do a flip within the next 20 weeks.  We are so blessed for everything to be healthy...now comes the difficult part...picking out a name and room decorations!
My placenta still has not moved up as far as it needs to, but they are now calling it a low-lying placenta because it's not covering my cervix.  They said it sometimes takes time.  I wish it would hurry, but I'll be patient a little longer.
I'm definitely a little nervous about having a boy and the differences between a boy and a girl.  I know the Lord has a plan for us having a boy, I just don't know what it is at this moment.  Everyone tells me how much I will love having a boy because of how much they love their mama.  I can't wait!  I just hope that it's as easy to love a second child as much as it was the first!

 First purchase for our baby boy!

 At 20 weeks...growing!

16 Week Appointment

I went for my 16 week appointment.  I thought that I might be able to talk them in to an ultrasound since I've had more spotting, but since it's old blood they were not concerned.  Another reason they were not concerned was because the baby had a strong heartbeat...155 bpm!  I love that sound!!  At this appointment I also saw Christine, the midwife that delivered Raleigh.  I told her that she needed to be on call all during January.  :)  I would love it if she could deliver this baby too...she is wonderful!  I love seeing midwives at my appointments...they never appear to be in a hurry and listen to all of my concerns.  Glad I'm seeing another one next time!  Next appointment...boy or girl!!!

16 weeks

I said it at 12 weeks and even more thankful at 16 weeks to be pregnant with a beautiful little life growing inside.  I feel so blessed that this baby is healthy despite some obstacles that have come up during this pregnancy!

Me at 16 weeks

 Raleigh had to have her picture made too.  :)

Checkup and Changes

I went back for another ultrasound to check on the baby and make sure everything was ok with the hemorrhage.  The baby looked wonderful with a heart rate of 152 bpm.  I never get tired of hearing the heartbeat!  This ultrasound was special...it was the first time that Raleigh was able to see the baby.  She kept saying, "she's so cute!"  I can't wait to watch her be a big sister!

The doctor did say that I have placenta previa which means that I need to continue to take it easy with no heavy lifting or strenuous exercise.  This is so hard to hear and know.  Raleigh's pregnancy was so easy with no complications.  I felt great the whole time, even a week after my due date!  This one is so different.  I don't feel horrible, but I just feel confined.  I can't pick Raleigh up and I'm nervous about every little move I make.  I don't want to do anything to hurt this baby so I'm more sensitive to every little pain or muscle spasm that I have.  The doctor said that in most cases the placenta will move up by delivery and will be fine.  If it doesn't then I'll have to have a C-section.  I don't want a C-section at all so hopefully it will move up!  I'll be checked again at 20 weeks.

Since I had an ultrasound I asked if they could tell what the baby might be.  She said we could look, but not to go out and buy anything yet.  I wouldn't anyway until it's confirmed at 20 weeks because I've heard of too many stories about it being a wrong prediction when people were told early.  Well, it looked like a boy.  This caused a whole episode of emotions!  I have wanted a girl for several reasons...Raleigh's clothes could be reused, I love all things girl, I'm terrified of having a boy because I'm not familiar with all the boy toys and I don't just love the outdoors.  Will I love this baby just the same if it is a boy?  YES!  I just have a lot to learn and I have to change my mindset to boy things instead of all things girl!  I know there is a reason for whatever we are having, but I just have to get my emotions out now so that I can then embrace whatever gender we are having and prepare the room and my heart.  When we were pregnant with Raleigh I told myself all along it would be a boy so then when they told me a girl I cried and thought about how much she'll hate me during the teenage years.  I did the exact same thing so I know this time around it will all be great again!  We'll see if everything is the same when we have a look again at 20 weeks!

Hooray!!

My bleeding stopped!!  This is one sign that the doctor said was good and that things were healing.  Praise the Lord!!

Also, after eating lunch I felt a little flutter!  Not 100% positive that it was the baby, but I think it may have been!

A Second Look

After the trip to the ER over the weekend I wanted to be checked again by my doctors.  Thankfully they were able to get me in for an ultrasound.  Once again the ultrasound showed a healthy baby with a heart rate of 145 bpm and we could see it moving as well!  The ultrasound tech said she could see the clot and hopefully that meant that things were starting to heal.  We talked to the doctor as well and she said this was actually fairly common and for me to take it easy and thing should heal back up.  Just to keep me from worrying she scheduled another ultrasound for next week...very glad for that!  Thankful to have more encouraging news!!

Our beautiful baby!!

Big Scare!

So after 12 weeks I didn't think there was any reason to worry.  Of course I know things can happen to the baby, but I try to not think of it.  Well, I wanted to see the Duggar family and have them sign their new book.  I just think they are an amazing family.  Jason took me to see them and he and Raleigh waited in the children's book section while I waited in line for 2 hours.  After waiting for the two hours I felt three gushes of something...my first thought was I really needed to use the bathroom and my second thought was that my water had broken.  I immediately called Jason to get in line for me and then I rushed to the bathroom.  What I saw when I got there was heartbreaking and the most scared/worried I've ever been.  My panties were already filled with blood and it wasn't stopping.  I called Jason again and told him we had to go to the ER now!  After we got to Northside (closest hospital to us) I still had to wait for over an hour before they took my blood and got me in for an ultrasound.  I'm not sure how many prayers Jason and I said in that time period, but I know it was a lot!  When we finally got in for an ultrasound we were very relieved to see our beautiful baby's heartbeat, kicking its legs, moving its arms, and even opening and closing its mouth!  It was the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!  I was then diagnosed with a perigestational hemorrhage or also called a subchorionic hematoma and told to take it easy for a few days and the bleeding could stop or might continue for a while.  Praise the Lord it was nothing more!!

12 weeks!

I've made it to 12 weeks!!  Feeling very blessed to be pregnant and carrying this precious life inside of me!

Here's a look at the belly at 12 weeks

First OB Appointment

Today I went for my first OB appointment.  First off they got the office wrong when they made my appointment.  I usually go to Johns Creek, but they made this one at the New Northside office.  We had to go through the whole OB workup, blood work, and seeing the midwife.  Our appointment was at 8:40 and we didn't get out until 10:30!  The one nice thing about the appointment was that we were able to hear the heartbeat!!  It was beating around 160 bpm!  Wonderful!!  I was secretly hoping they wouldn't hear it with the doppler so I could get an ultrasound, but yet I'm thankful it was beating strongly and it was able to be picked up!  Now I don't go back until August 3rd...going to be a long wait!

Woo Hoo!!!

Cue the Hallelujah Chorus...I'm finished with my progesterone shots!!!  As thankful as I am to be pregnant and how it's just a little thing that I have to go through to be pregnant, I sure am glad that it's over.  Ten full weeks of taking this shot...I'm over it!  I've also had a shot every day except for one or two days since April 1st and some of the days in April included more than one.  That is a LONG time!!  Of course I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat!  I finished my Estrace pills June 9th and now I have one week left to take baby aspirin and then I'll be finished with all my "extra" medicines!!  Then one week after that I'll be finished with my first trimester!  Lots to be celebrate and be thankful for!

Here's the progesterone syringe and needle I had for those 10 weeks!  Long needle!!

 My three containers with all the needles we used

 And a look inside

Ultrasound #3

We went for another ultrasound to see our little baby!  Like always the ultrasound was not clear.  :(  We were able to see the heartbeat again and it was going to town.  The heart rate was 163 bpm!  I was glad to see that it was up and not as low as last time.  Although they said it was a great heart rate, I feel better with it being higher.  He/she is measuring great (actually a day ahead of my original due date)!  They said it could either be January 14 or 15.  I was doing so great that they released me from them. :(  I was really wanting to stay around for two more weeks, but this means that everything is going well and they don't need to see me anymore, so I'll take it.  They did give us a little silver spoon just like the one we got with Raleigh only they engraved theirs to say "Best Wishes, ACRM."  Next up is a trip to my regular OB/GYN!

Ultrasound #2

Well, I think I've just figured out that the ultrasound machines are old!  We could see our little one a little better and could tell that there was a heartbeat, but it just didn't seem as clear as Raleigh's.  Also, they have no audio on the machines so even though we could see the heartbeat we couldn't hear it...bummer!  The heart rate was 123 bpm which is great.  My first thoughts with this heart rate is a boy, but we'll see.  We're going to love this baby be it a boy or a girl so it really doesn't matter.  He/she will just make our little family a step closer to completion!

Ultrasound #1

Today was our first ultrasound.  I of course was excited and nervous.  I really want all three of our embryos to survive even though I know that triplets would be a ton of work and I wouldn't have any down time.  Well, our ultrasound only revealed one baby.  I'm very thankful for one healthy baby and do know that only having one baby at a time is the healthiest for me and the baby, but I was also disappointed that we'll never meet two of our other babies.  Unfortunately we weren't able to tell a lot from the ultrasound other than seeing that there was only one baby.  I was impatient and didn't want to wait over the weekend so I was only 5 weeks 5 days and we couldn't see or hear the heartbeat.  We go back next week and will hopefully be able to hear the heartbeat!  I'm extremely thankful for the Lord answering my prayer to have another child even if He didn't think it was best for us to have all three!  I know He is in control and knows what is best for our family!

More Blood Work!

Another day of checking my HCG levels and another fantastic result...918!  Praise the Lord that everything is progressing as it should.  The next step is our ultrasound.  I can hardly contain myself!  Praying that the Lord will bless us with multiples!

Today was also the first time we had seen Lacy and Robby since finding out that I am pregnant.  We tried to get Raleigh to tell them, but she was being shy.  Finally she got it out with much coaxing from us.  Of course they were excited as well!

Day 2 levels

Today I had my blood work checked again to make sure my HCG levels are doubling as they should.  My level was 177.9.  Right on track!  Very thankful and continually amazed at how God has worked out everything!

Today's the day...

for our pregnancy test!  I can't wait for the dreaded phone call without some idea of what to expect.  I've done it before and was miserable so we took a home pregnancy test.  It was positive!!!!!

I woke up around 3:30 and needed to use the bathroom, but didn't want to get up to use it until I was ready to take the test.  Well, Jason wanted me to wake him up and I hated to since he was sleeping so good, so I lay there waiting, trying to go back to sleep, but couldn't.  Finally at about 4:15 I got up and told him I couldn't wait any more.  Very quickly after laying the test down the plus sign started to show up!  Needless to say we were thrilled and immediately praised the Lord by praying to Him!  How could we not when he's blessed us so much?!?!  I obviously wasn't going back to sleep so I got ready for my doctor's appointment and Jason tried to go back to sleep, but I don't know how successful he was.  :)

I did need to get the official word from the doctor though before I started telling anyone.  A little after 12:00 Dr. Denis called and told me the great news...that the test was positive.  My HCG levels were 91.7 which was great (I was thankful because with Raleigh they were low at 52).  I am just absolutely thrilled and feel so blessed.

Jason and I decided we'd just call our family to let them know.  I called mama, daddy, Todd, Cindy, Scott and Vivian and let Raleigh tell them that she was going to be a big sister.  Everyone was so thrilled  and happy for us.  Jason called his family and of course they were so happy too!  Everyone had been praying hard!

I also sent an email to all of our friends who have been praying for us.  This is what they said:

Amy:  Just got your email!  Super duper excited for y'all!  God is so so good!  Love you guys!
Stacia:  Praise the LORD!  Oh my word!  Thrilled for you my friend!
Andrea:  Woohoo!!!  So excited for y'all!!!!!
Kim:  I KNEW IT!!  When I was praying for you this morning I had such a peace that everything was going to work out!!  Please keep us informed as you go through this pregnancy so we can specifically pray for what you need.  I am more happy for you than words can express!  God is so good and I'll keep on praying for you.
Christa:  Words can't express how thrilled I am for you guys.  I have chill bumps all over.  Rejoicing with you and thanks for sharing!!!  Will continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy.
Haley:  I've been praying for y'all yesterday and this morning and I'm so ecstatic to hear the news!  What a wonderful mothers day present!  CONGRATULATIONS!
Michelle:  WONDERFUL news  :)  Congrats!
Merideth:  CONGRATULATIONS!  So happy for you guys!
Alisa:  I am super excited!
Stacey:  Praising the Lord for yet another miracle in your life.  What a testimony.  What a blessing!
Jenny:  That is so wonderful!!!
Jill:  She had to call because she was so excited that she couldn't even type a response.  :)
Coo:  Yay!!!  I'm so happy for y'all!

I mean really, do I have the greatest friends or what?!?!

Large Ovaries

Well, I mentioned all the pains I had yesterday to my nurse and she said for them to do an ultrasound just to make sure it was my ovaries.  It was confirmed that my ovaries are just still large from the stimulation.  And my blood work that they checked looked great!  Now one more week of waiting!

On a sad note, our final three embryos were not able to be frozen.  :(

Pains...

I've had a lot of pains today.  Not sure how to really describe them other than they hurt.  I called the nurse and she thinks it could be my ovaries are still enlarged from all the stimulation.  I've rested a good bit today and hopefully they will all subside.  Thankfully I go for blood work in the morning so they said they can check me if they need to.  I may have them check me for peace of mind.  Only one more week until the big test!  Praying God's blessing on our family!

Transfer Day

Today was the big day.  Time to transfer our babies into my uterus.  I woke up really nervous and it continued all morning.  We prayed, I prayed, and finally after speaking my CBS memory verses to myself I calmed down a little.  That was until we went into the room to talk to the doctor and embryologist.  The embryologist came in and gave us a picture of three of our embryos.  He told us that they looked the best out of all of them.  They grade the embryos and grade 1 is textbook perfect.  We had one that was 6 cells and grade 2 and two that were 8 cells and grade 3.  The others were 4 cell, 7 cell, and 6 cell, but all grade 3.  He told us that it isn't likely we'll be able to freeze the remaining 3.  We questioned him and asked for clarification.  I strongly voiced my concern for them "throwing" my babies out just because they didn't look right.  I was assured that they won't, but I still don't trust them.  This is when it all comes down to my complete and ultimate faith in the Lord that He will be the one to either continue their life or take it and let them join Him in heaven!

Our three healthy embryos...amazing!

 After breaking down and crying (a lot) and having the doctor reassure me that I need to focus on our healthy three embryos and not worry about the others that they will either make it or not and it will be ok.  I loved  having Dr. Fogle as my doctor!  She was such an encouragement and even though she never mentioned the Lord I felt as though that's what she was talking about.

We then began the procedure and I cried some more, prayed, and once again recited Joshua 1:9...Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged.  For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  I know the Lord was with me through the whole procedure.  Dr. Fogle began everything and was very gentle and I actually didn't use the bathroom on her since my bladder was so full!  After our embryos were in place I had to lay there for about 5 minutes...my bladder felt like it was going to explode!  Dr. Fogle did tell me to not do much of anything for two days and that I was on "house arrest."  I am so glad they care enough about us to encourage us to take it easy.

The ultrasound of the embryos in place.  The large black spot is my bladder which is bigger than when she first checked to make sure it was full...can we say pressure?!?!  The red arrow is pointing to where the embryos were placed. 

On top of the emotional day I have the greatest friends ever!  Jill helped out and looked after Raleigh this morning at CBS, Haley is bringing us dinner, and Stacey had the most encouraging words.  I loved how Stacey told me that the Lord is in control of our babies and that He's made my womb a hospital for the embryos we had transferred.  All I can say is THANKFUL AND BLESSED!!!  Glad we were able to pick up Raleigh at church and run into all of them for their encouraging words.

The News

Well, we got a call this morning about our embryos.  Out of the 18 eggs, 15 of them were mature, but only 6 fertilized.  The doctor said this is a little less than what they usually see, but it's still good.  I was hoping for more, but I know deep down that the Lord is in control and has plans for all 6 of these embryos.  ACRM also said they only have about 30% of embryos frozen for future cycles.  I was a little bummed at these percentages because I definitely want frozen embryos since I don't know if we could financially do this again.  I immediately began to pray that the Lord will grow all of our embryos into strong and healthy babies.  Not long after I got the call from the doctor I received an email from Stacia with several verses to remind me that God is in control and has the best in store for us.  Can we say God's perfect timing?!?!

I'm also filled up with medicine today!  Estrace twice a day, Medrol (for 4 remaining days), baby aspirin, and the lovely progesterone shot.  I'll continue it and then hopefully go back for the transfer on Wednesday.

Surgery #2...Me

Today was the day.  The Lord answered my prayers and I really wasn't nervous at all!  We arrived around 8:00 and started getting ready.  I was the only surgery scheduled for the morning so it was nice and quiet.  I had a wonderful nurse, great anesthesiologist, super nice embryologist, and a fabulous doctor!  I went back for surgery around 9:10 or so and when I woke up in recovery it was around 9:35.  Very quick!  The good news is that they retrieved 18 eggs.  We'll find out tomorrow how many of them are mature and how many fertilized.  The other great news was that they have enough of Jason's sperm for this round of IVF and were able to freeze some!  Hallelujah!  I could not have been happier with all the staff that I encountered today.  Once again, the Lord answered my prayers for a successful day!

What a wonderful day to rejoice in all the Lord has done for us!  I'm so thankful that Jesus came to this earth to die for my sins and rose again three days later!  Happy Easter!

The Day Before

I'm nervous.  I know that God is in control of this and will provide for us so I'm trying to not be nervous.  It's hard though.  When in my pre-op this morning my nurse Sherri told me that ACRM does not have a high number of embryos frozen.  This was the beginning of the nervousness.  I think it all boils down to the fact that Raleigh was from a frozen cycle.  I'm praying that the Lord will bless us with enough embryos to have enough frozen for one or two more cycles. We'll see how everything looks tomorrow!  God is in control!

Surgery #1...Jason

Today was Jason's surgery day.  I had no worries about his surgery until he mentioned last night that he didn't feel good about it.  That started my mind racing.  Not a good thing and not what God would have wanted either one of us to do.  I started praying, Jason prayed and I for one felt a little calmer.  He was still a little nervous, but I think any time you're about to have a surgery you feel nervous.  We had to be at the surgery center at 6:00...way too early!  We made it and Jason was prepped and ready for surgery at 7:30.  It was probably about 8:20 when the nurse came out and told me that they were able to retrieve some sperm and were actually looking for more to freeze!  Talk about an answered prayer!  Of course we don't know exactly how many they were able to get or if any will be able to be frozen until they get them back to the lab to examine, but we serve an AMAZING God who once again did more that we could ask or imagine.  From Jason's previous appointment with this doctor he didn't think any would be able to be frozen or that it would be a good idea.  I love how God does things like this for his children.  And how great too that all of this took place on Good Friday...the day that Jesus paid our debt for us, was beaten and crucified just so we could have eternal life with him!

I also had to visit the doctor today for another ultrasound and blood work.  Everything looked great and egg retrieval is set for Sunday at 9:00.  I got my last shot (trigger shot) at 10:00pm and I'm thankful I won't be getting a shot tomorrow.  :)

Thank you Lord for answering our prayer and showing us just how much you love us.  Most importantly thank you for dying for my sins so that one day we will live with you in eternity!

Growing, Growing, Growing

I had my first round of blood work and ultrasound today after beginning stimulation medications.  Everything looked great.  My estrogen levels were at 520 and I had several follicles on each side measuring between 10 and 13.  Praise the Lord everything is going as it should!

Idols

I'm bad about focusing an extreme amount of my time thinking about having a baby, the whole IVF process, and wanting to have another baby.  During church a song was played talking about how anything place our minds on is an idol and anything our heart desires is an idol.  It really hit me at how I make having a baby an idol and that's not what I want to do.  I want my focus to be on God and allow him to work in my life.  This is something that's going to be a daily confession and turning over to the Lord.  I know He will help me to remain focused on Him!

Dear Lord,
Please forgive me for making having a baby an idol in my life and putting it before you.  I pray you will forgive me for this and help me to daily focus on you.

Let the Stimulation Begin!

Today will be the first day of stimulation medications.  A little nervous, but not at the same time.  These are different medicines than last time so hopefully my body will respond well to them.  Another thing is that it's a bigger needle...hope Jason is kind to me.  :)

Yesterday at CBS we reviewed our memory verses from first semester and this semester.  They are perfect for me to dwell on during this time!  Love how the Lord works that out.

Joshua 1:9 ~ Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Psalm 18:1-2 ~ I love you, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Everything Quiet and Normal

I went today for my baseline and ultrasound.  Everything was quiet and normal just like it should be!  Thankful for God allowing my body to respond as it should to the medications!

Time to begin!

Today's my first day of shots.  We went to visit our nurse Sherri today and go over how to mix and give all the shots.  Very overwhelming!  There's so much to remember and I have to make sure Jason gives them to me the right way.  We had friends over for a game night and had to take a little break to get the shot, but easy and painless.  I'm so glad I have a wonderful nurse to do this for me!  Now for the collection of needles to begin!

At least the pharmacy sent us a collection container this time!

A funny...

How odd is it that I have a pack of birth control pills sitting next to a bottle of prenatal vitamins?!?!

Gotta look for some laughs in the midst of so much going on.  :)

The Nurses Call

Today I heard from our nurse about coming in for the lessons on shots.  Not my favorite part at all.  I can't bring myself to give the shots to myself so Jason has to go with me.  I guess this means that I need to find some container to store all of my used needles.  Friday is the first shot!  I guess this got to me a little today after talking to the nurse because after that I felt sick for about 2 hours.  I know that everything will be fine because the Lord will be with me every step of the way!  I love Matthew 6:33-34:  "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  This was my favorite verse when I was in high school because I would always worry and this passage really spoke to me.  And even better is a couple verses before this that at that time I did not read but love now as well.  Matthew 6:26-27:  "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"  I love it!  It's so true that I am so valuable to the Lord and I need to seek him and his kingdom instead of worrying that will do nothing for me.

Taking it one day at a time and focusing on my Heavenly Father!

Here We Go Again...

Well, we've made the decision to begin the IVF process again.  It makes me excited to think that we may actually add more children to our family, but nervous all at the same time because I don't know how things will turn out.  One thing I do know is that it's out of our hands and the doctors.

Today I started my cycle which meant I needed to call the nurse and get the ball rolling.  For now I'm going to take birth control pills for a couple weeks.  I'm not sure how I really feel about this.  I haven't taken the pill in seven years.  I'm not a big fan of them and glad this is only temporary.  Not sure why but our new doctors use this to calm all my insides down before the stimulation process.  I'm trusting that they know what is best.

I'm also a little depressed, anxious, worried that this go around I weigh more than I did when we did the IVF process with Raleigh.  Not sure if this will effect anything or not (the doctor told me I was fine), but I am concerned about it.  I've tried to not eat as much and cut out the sweet teas and sweets, but it's been really hard.  I've tried to exercise more, but I have no motivation.  Luckily the weather is getting nicer so it's easier to go out, but then I don't want to exercise too much and risk anything.  Praying that since I know we've started everything I can really cut out the sweet teas at least because I don't want the caffeine in my body.

Praying for calm in the midst of the storm!  God is in control of all this and I need not worry...He's taking care of me.

This is my Journey

My desire in writing this is to release any feelings I have that I feel I have no one to share them with, to document all that we go through on this journey, and to leave a remembrance with my children of all that God has done, is doing, and will continue to do in our lives.

When we first began the infertility journey in 2004 I didn't write down anything.  I saved a lot of things and wanted to go back and write in my feelings, but never did.  I wish I had that journey documented better for Raleigh so she could look back on all we went through with her and see just how God answered our prayers.  My feelings and desires are the same this time though.  I still desire for God to bless our lives with more children.  Although I have a child now I still feel incomplete.  Even though I sometimes want it quiet, don't want to wake up in the middle of the night, and get frustrated often, I still want more children so my house will be louder, my schedule busier, myself more tired, and my frustrations greater!  Children are a blessing from the Lord!

My goal in this blog is for the Lord to be glorified in everything!  It is nothing Jason or I do and it's nothing that the doctors do, as we are just vessels for the Lord, but it is all about Him!